The post The Power of Divine Love appeared first on United Church Homes.

There’s something inherently magical about summer, with its sun-drenched days and balmy evenings, that seems tailor-made for the sharing of stories. Perhaps it’s the vibrant palette of colors that paint the landscape, casting a golden hue upon our reminiscences. Or maybe it’s the carefree spirit of the season, where time appears to slow down, granting us the luxury to savor each fleeting moment with heightened awareness and gratitude.

A Beachy Memory

One memory in particular stands out among the many summers I’ve experienced – my first visit to the beach. Growing up, summer break meant staying with grandparents, crashing at friends’ places, or going to Vacation Bible School. There wasn’t enough money for trips that crossed state lines. So at twenty years old, I was filled with a heady mixture of excitement and awe as I stepped onto the soft, powdery sand and felt the sun’s warm caress upon my skin. Standing at the water’s edge, I beheld the vast expanse of the ocean stretching out to meet the sky, its infinite depths stirring within me a profound sense of connection to something greater than myself.

As the day unfolded, I found myself swept away by the simple pleasures of beach life – building sandcastles with the fervor of a child, surrendering to the cool embrace of the ocean’s waves as I waded into its depths, and marveling at the rhythmic dance of the tide as it ebbed and flowed, reshaping the shoreline with each passing moment. In the midst of it all, I felt a profound sense of vitality and abundance, as if the very essence of life itself pulsed within me with every breath.

Anticipating This Summer

Now, as my family eagerly anticipates another beach vacation this summer, I am filled with a deep sense of joy and anticipation at the prospect of sharing this sacred space of beauty and abundance with my children. Through their eyes, I am reminded once again of the awe-inspiring wonder that first captivated me all those years ago, and I am grateful for the opportunity to pass on the legacy of summer’s magic to the next generation.

In reflecting on my love for summer, I realize that it is not merely the warmth of the sun or the allure of the beach that draws me in, but rather the profound sense of connection and belonging that it fosters within me. In those fleeting moments of summer bliss, I am reminded of the boundless potential for joy and wonder that exists within each of us, waiting to be awakened and embraced.

As summer approaches once again, I am reminded of the power of storytelling to evoke the magic of seasons past and to forge connections that transcend time and space. So let us embrace and share our summertime stories, weaving together the threads of nostalgia, joy, and gratitude that bind us to one another and to the beauty of life itself. For in the sharing of our stories, we discover the true richness of the season – not just in the warmth of the sun or the sparkle of the ocean, but in the timeless bonds of friendship, love, and shared experience that unite us all.

For Reflection (either individually or with a group)

Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Invite the Divine to open your heart to allow the light of new understanding to pierce the shadows of embedded assumptions, stereotypes, and ways of thinking so that you may live more abundantly. Then spend some time with the following questions together with anything or anyone who helps you reflect more deeply.

• What is your favorite summertime memory/story?
• What about that memory makes it so special?
• Are you still connected with any of the people who were a part of that story? Why or why not?

Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group.

The post Summer Reflections appeared first on United Church Homes.

I retook that journey by rewatching Star Trek: The Next Generation (TNG) during the COVID 19 lockdown. Of course, TNG as an adult was a journey that offered new perspectives and deeper appreciation for the iconic series. As I journeyed alongside Captain Jean-Luc Picard and his crew, I witnessed not only their adventures in space but also their growth, evolution, and the challenges of mortality. As I continue to consider my own abundant aging, I become more convinced that few franchises have explored the complexities of aging with as much grace and wisdom as Star Trek: The Next Generation. 

Embracing Change and Adaptation 

Throughout TNG, we see characters grappling with the passage of time and the changes it brings. From Picard’s reflections on his youth to Data’s exploration of his own humanity, the show emphasizes the importance of embracing change and adapting to new circumstances. Just as the crew of the USS Enterprise navigates the ever-shifting currents of the galaxy, so too must we embrace the inevitability of change and find strength in our ability to adapt. 

Wisdom and Experience 

One of the most significant themes of TNG is the value of wisdom and experience that comes with age. Captain Picard, in particular, embodies this idea, drawing on his years of command experience to navigate the complexities of interstellar diplomacy and exploration. As we age, we accumulate a wealth of knowledge and life experience that can guide us through the challenges we face. Like Picard, we can learn to trust in our own wisdom and draw upon our past experiences to inform our decisions. 

Resilience and Perseverance 

The characters of TNG often find themselves confronting adversity and overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles. From encounters with hostile aliens to personal tragedies, they demonstrate resilience and perseverance in the face of adversity. As we age, we inevitably encounter our own share of challenges and setbacks. Yet, like the crew of the Enterprise, we can draw upon our inner strength and determination to persevere in the face of adversity. 

Relationships and Connection 

At the heart of TNG are the relationships forged among the crew of the USS Enterprise. Over the course of the series, we see these relationships deepen and evolve, transcending rank and duty to become bonds of friendship and family. As we age, our relationships become increasingly important, providing us with a sense of connection, belonging, and support. Like the crew of the Enterprise, we can cultivate meaningful connections with others and draw strength from the bonds we share. 

Embracing the Journey 

Ultimately, TNG teaches us to embrace the journey of aging with courage, grace, and a sense of adventure. Just as the crew of the Enterprise boldly goes where no one has gone before, so too can we embrace the unknowns of aging with a spirit of curiosity and exploration. As we navigate the complexities of growing older, may we draw inspiration from the lessons of TNG and boldly embrace the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead. 

Star Trek: The Next Generation offers a compelling vision of aging that celebrates the wisdom, resilience, and connection that come with growing older. By embracing change, drawing upon our experiences, nurturing our relationships, and embracing the journey ahead, we can boldly navigate the complexities of aging and mortality with grace and dignity, just like the crew of the USS Enterprise. 

For Reflection (either individually or with a group) 

Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Invite the Divine to open your heart to allow the light of new understanding to pierce the shadows of embedded assumptions, stereotypes, and ways of thinking so that you may live more abundantly. Then spend some time with the following questions together with anything or anyone who helps you reflect more deeply. 

• When have you embraced change that you didn’t initiate? How did you adapt to the changed circumstances? 
• In what area has your knowledge and experiences given you wisdom—insights and understanding? How are you sharing your wisdom with younger generations? 
• Who are the people with whom you have deep connections? How do you give them and how do they give you a sense of belonging, and support? 

Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group

The post To Boldly Go into the Journey of Abundant Aging appeared first on United Church Homes.

I know I have a lot of experience taking care of other people.

I am a wife and mother of three. In my previous profession I was a preschool teacher. I am currently a healthcare Chaplain; a professional who offers spiritual caregiving to people whose health is in transition.

And yet, the answer to the question “What do I know about caregiving” doesn’t roll off my tongue in neatly wrapped cliches. I know that caregiving is a beautiful and rewarding calling. I also know that caregiving has challenges.

The Capacity to Give

I used to think that caregiving was all about the care that I could provide to other people, with little regard to how much I was capable of giving. I ended up giving a lot of myself away without replenishing my tired body and soul.

The saying ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’ is only a partial truth. There have been plenty of times that I have poured from my empty cup into someone else. I would say the deeper wisdom is more like ‘you can pour from an empty cup, but not for forever.’

We can perhaps pour from an empty cup for a season. I poured from an empty cup throughout my children’s young childhoods. I don’t know if any caregiving season feels as long as the first five years of a child’s life, as we nurture them while they are completely dependent on us.

I believe that quality caregiving is meant to be dynamic. Caregiving involves my ability to provide care to others, to provide care to myself, and to receive and accept community caregiving.

I’m learning that quality caregiving begins with taking good care of myself. It includes replenishing my metaphorical cup with things that are good for my body, mind, and spirit.

Restorative Yoga

A new-to-me self-care practice is attending a restorative yoga class at a local yoga studio. For those who don’t know, the purpose of restorative yoga is to live into practices that support the parasympathetic nervous system – AKA rest. The whole class is designed for rest. While I am loving learning the actual practice of yoga, the self-care part of the class is stepping out of the role and expectation of caregiving. The only expectation I have of myself for the whole class time is to actively participate in resting. 

Sustainable Community Care

I’m learning to accept reciprocity in sustainable caregiving, because it is difficult to meet the expectation of caring for others and knowing how to care for myself at the same time. I believe a good name for this reciprocity in caregiving is community care.

One of the joys I experience in my career as a healthcare chaplain is praying with the residents and staff members of the community where I practice ministry. I have spent a lot of time praying with people. Recently, I started to ask people to pray for me as I pray for them. This one small change in how I practice sustainable community care has deepened my relationships with people, and it has given new life to my ministry. With this seemingly small act, I’m asking and allowing people to pour into me as I pour into them. I’m hopeful that we will find more ways to live life together, not just as individuals who occasionally cross paths.

Caregiving can be beautiful and rewarding if it is thoughtfully designed with those goals in mind. I hope more people begin to cultivate practices of quality, sustainable, community caregiving in the sea of individualistic self-care practices. 

For Reflection (either individually or with a group)

Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Invite the Divine to open your heart to allow the light of new understanding to pierce the shadows of embedded assumptions, stereotypes, and ways of thinking so that you may live more abundantly. Then spend some time with the following questions together with anything or anyone who helps you reflect more deeply.

• What is it that you do know about caregiving?
• When have you given care while your “cup was empty”?
• What one thing can you do to offer “sustainable community caregiving” to someone else or to your community?

Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group.

The post What Do I Know About Caregiving? appeared first on United Church Homes.

Clergy family life in December adds another dimension to the pressures of the season. The family traditions of putting up the Christmas Tree, hanging the outdoor lights, trying to keep that Elf on the Shelf moving, and visiting every family member gets tangled up in the concern of making sure each child gets some of the presents they want without going too far over budget and insisting on reading Luke chapter 2 on Christmas morning when the children clearly just want to open their presents. 

Reflecting upon the too muchness of this season reminds me of the line “These are the days it never rains but it pours” from the David Bowie/Freddie Mercury song “Under Pressure.” 

Fear not reader, this is not a wayward tale where I beg for sympathy for the profession I was called into (and love) while wailing about the endless demands of consumerism during Christmas. I cannot get to the point I want to write about without clearly stating that sometimes, the pressures of life can feel like “Insanity laughs under pressure we’re breaking.” (Another lyric from the same song. Don’t ask me to apologize for my love of Freddie Mercury.) 

A Spiritual Practice for Epiphany

What I want to share is what happens at the conclusion of the whole Christmas season. Maybe it is because of the additional pressures of clergy life–both professional and familial–that Epiphany feels like a balm on my weary soul. Maybe it’s because Epiphany comes in with a low level of expectation compared to the big events of Christmas. It could be the message of Epiphany and the arrival of the Magi to meet the Christ child. Can’t you just imagine the Magi after they left Herod’s palace, where they first thought they would find the newborn King of the Jews, to find a child–Love made Flesh–playing in a simple home. 

What I look forward to the most about the Epiphany service are the Star Words, which is a spiritual practice that I learned about early in my clergy career. Star words are a word that is received either on paper or electronically with an invitation to trust that it is a word that will offer guidance throughout the next year. I used to tape mine on my bathroom mirror, where I would see it every morning. Now I place it in the back of my clear phone case where I can see it more often. 

Examples of Star Words

For example, in 2019 my Star Word on Epiphany was Knowledge. I thought that it referred to my upcoming May graduation from Seminary. That February I received a call from a friend wanting me to adopt her newborn. During the next eight weeks my family and I prepared to bring a newborn home while jumping through the hoops of Child Protective Services and learning how to care for this child’s very specific needs. 

I remember begging God to reveal what I needed to do to ensure that we were the best placement for this unexpected child. A clear vision of the paper I received with the word “knowledge” came to my mind while simultaneously in my heart space I “heard” God tell me “Be still and KNOW that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) 

Now in the business of any season – when it feels like I’ve been slashed and torn by the pressure of it all (still not apologizing), I KNOW to be still and let God be God. 

Last year my Star Word was Forgive. Upon reflection at the end of the year, I’m glad that I received this word, because without living into Forgiveness intentionally this year, I would have stayed angry a lot longer at a lot more people and it would have consumed me. What I have learned is that forgiveness is a gift that I give myself, and it has become my desired state of being. I communicate so much more effectively about my anger and I don’t hold as many grudges. I can decide to communicate about my anger or let it go if it’s a conversation that isn’t worth having. I’m telling you, a life of forgiveness really is the way to go. 

I’m looking forward to my Star Word this year. What will this new year bring with a new intention to live into? The anticipation makes me feel like a kid on Christmas. 

If you are interested in receiving a Star Word, I found a website that will reveal one for you from a church with which I have no affiliation whatsoever. https://www.trcnyc.org/starwords/ Go to the website and click, “Get My Word”.

For Reflection (either individually or with a group)

Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Then spend some time with the following questions with anything that helps you reflect more deeply. Invite the questions to join you for tea or coffee. 

• Take just four minutes to reflect upon the word “Knowledge” or “Forgive”. What comes to mind for you as you think ahead to 2024?
• What would it mean to you to spend the whole year reflecting upon the word “Knowledge” or “Forgive”?
• Write your own prayer or use this prayer* before receiving your star word. Holy God, Help us to be open to the gift that you offer us now through our star word. We acknowledge that we do not fully understand what this word might mean for our faith, but we receive it from you with gratitude and pray that your Spirit will enable us to live into our word with intention and faithfulness.

*The prayer comes from the RevGalBlogPals.org blog. That blog page has more information about Star Words.

Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group.

The post Star Words appeared first on United Church Homes.

The list of examples of the things my three children have believed to be unfair in the last month would be too long to list here. Included in the list is an earlier bedtime for our four-year-old than his teenage siblings, having a curfew for our 16-year-old, and expecting our 19-year-old to keep food out of her bedroom.

While most parents would say that they have gone through similar experiences with their own families, when my children utter this phrase, it grinds though my patience pretty quickly. What I want to say is something like “Who told you that life is fair?” or “That’s just how it is.”

What I try to say is something more like “Tell me why you don’t think it is fair.” I listen to them with the intention to hear them, all the while my insides feel like tangled knots as I hear them tell me what they believe my expectations should be. I try to be the mature parent who is calm, cool, and collected, but the truth is that I don’t want to hear about their experience with unfairness. After all, shouldn’t the standard of fairness be whatever I want it to be in my house? Should I really be expected to articulate a standard of fairness to my children? I decided to get curious about what it means to be treated unfairly.

What Does It Mean to Be Treated Unfairly?

What I am discovering is that from their perspective, my expectations are unfair. I don’t believe this makes me a bad mom. I remain curious to see how this awareness of fairness could make positive changes in our family dynamics.

Of course, we have all had experiences of unfairness in our lifetimes. Why is it that some people are so quick to point out the unfairness of life when we are on the receiving end, but are quick to rationalize away our reasons for making things unfair for other people?

This may be one reason why it is so difficult for so many people to try to understand fairness through the perspective of someone else. Someone ‘other.’ Trying to put the standard of fairness into words can seem like an incredible challenge for so many people. Why isn’t the quick answer of “because I’m the mom and I said so” satisfactory? After all, this was the model of parenting that my parents used, and I turned out alright. Didn’t I?

Where Is This going?

If I were to write a list of the things that I want my children to learn, I would want curiosity, concern for justice, and autonomy to be near the top. To achieve this goal, the model of parenting that my husband and I are attempting would say something like “the things that you want your children to receive must be modeled for them,” AKA “do as I do, not just as I say.”

Yikes. Talk about challenging.

Would that mean that after a long day of working, running the kiddos here and there, and finally getting home where all I want to do is take a hot shower and crawl into my own bed, that I instead have to model listening to my children about their experiences and try to find an equitable solution to staying out past curfew or taking their own bath before bed? Does the new model of parenting mean that I am learning how to share the authority over their lives with them in order for them to understand fairness?

I think that it does. And I wish that it didn’t seem so unfair.

For Reflection (either individually or with a group)

Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Take these questions for a walk in the woods or in your neighborhood, for a swim or a run or for a hot soak in the tub. Invite the questions to join you for tea or coffee. 

• What did your family of origin teach you about fairness?
• What does your faith tradition teach you about unfairness?
• How do you tend to react when you feel you are the object of unfairness? How would you like to respond?

Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group.

The post That’s Not Fair! appeared first on United Church Homes.

For the past 15ish years, I have been on the mom side of the back-to-school rush. Instead of participating in the activities, I have transformed into a being whose purpose appears to be to transport the participants.

It can be a real struggle to get myself and my children up on time to leave on time to drop them off at school on time so that I can get to work on time. Every morning is another reminder that time will continue to move forward whether I am ready for it or not.

Accelerating Toward an Unknown Future with a Lead Foot

I want to look forward to an autumn without a full calendar. Maybe I could enjoy being a woman who has time to sip her coffee in the morning instead of chugging it. Something about the way each day speeds by faster than the one before seems like my life is accelerating toward an unknown future with a lead foot. My children are growing up. The way that they need me is changing, and I’m not the best at accepting change.

What I fear the most, I think, is the change of my purpose in my own life. I became a mom at the same time I entered legal adulthood. As I approach this next stage of life, I am fretting about what life is going to be like when there is no one to need me to drive them to school, or take them to practice, or sit outside in the bleachers surrounded by other parents as we all wait to see our children do something that makes our sacrifice of time and effort feel worthwhile.

Purpose for the Next Chapter

Many well-meaning people tell me that “I’m going to miss this.” There are many things that I will miss about raising my children, but I guarantee that school drop-off lines won’t be one of them. Maybe when I look back on this time of my life, I will miss the clarity of my life’s purpose.

Purpose can be described as how we make meaning from our lived experiences. It’s what most humans are programed to do. When our calendars are full, it is easy to believe that our purpose is to get things accomplished and to produce something from our lives in an effort to prove that we matter.

In my ministry to older adults, the grievance I hear the most is that at some point they lost their life’s purpose. They believe that their life’s meaning is so intertwined with their ability to produce something of value that when their production value diminishes, so does their purpose.

What breaks my heart as I learn more about the complexities of ageism is just how quick people are diminish their own lived humanity into the role of producing something of value to other people.

As we continue the discussion on what it means to experience Abundant Aging, I hope that there are many more conversations on ways to make abundant meaning from our experiences. Instead of hearing “You are going to miss this,” I hope I to hear “You get to look forward to so much more than the school drop-off line.”

To learn more about ageism and what you can do to end it, join us either In Person or Online at the 2023 Abundant Aging Symposium with keynote speaker Dr. Tracey Gendron, author of Aging UnMasked: Exploring Age Bias and How to End It. For full details and to register, go to https://www.unitedchurchhomes.org/2023-annual-symposium/.

For Reflection (either individually or with a group)

Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Take these questions for a walk in the woods or in your neighborhood, for a swim or a run or for a hot soak in the tub. Invite the questions to join you for tea or coffee. 

• What is your life purpose?
• To what extent is your life purpose connected to what you produce of value for other people?
• How might you make Abundant Meaning from your life’s experiences?

Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group.

The post I Won’t Miss School Drop-offs appeared first on United Church Homes.

The Challenge Begins in Childhood

I don’t need or want to go into detail about the reasons why I had to learn to give myself permission to be angry in the moment, or why this particular learning process is so difficult. I will only say that, like so many others, I wasn’t given permission by those in authority over me to be angry in childhood and young adulthood. Instead, I was expected to be a good girl who could repress my anger at any cost.

Like you, I would encounter moments that would spark anger daily. Maybe someone cut me off in traffic. Maybe someone interrupted me. Often, people told me to hurry up and get to the point of my story or try to shame me for doing something the wrong way (instead of showing me how to do it the way they wanted it done). Instead of using my voice to express my anger in the moment, I withdrew and pushed the anger further down.

Repressed Anger Becomes Resentment and Bitterness

The repressed anger didn’t disappear. It festered inside of me, transforming itself into resentment and bitterness. I knew that the anger was a problem, but I had no idea how to solve it. The feeling was like a lake of hot sinful shame that I wasn’t strong enough to hold back. I did my best to hold it back when I was in public, but when I got home at the end of the day the dam would break and the pool of anger would wash over me.

If there was one prayer that I have repeated more than any other over the course of my lifetime it would be “God, get rid of this anger inside of me. I don’t like hurting people with my anger.” I did my best to contain the festering anger inside of my body, knowing that I wasn’t strong enough to fight it back for long. My body hurt. My soul was tired. I tried breathing deeply, I tried counting to ten, I tried to hold my breath, I tried to walk away. And then, exhausted from my best efforts, I gave permission to allow the dam to break. I gave myself permission to destroy the person who disturbed the lake of anger. Most of the time that person would be my husband and/or children for the offense of asking me too many questions, or lying about their room being clean, maybe asking me to purchase something that I couldn’t afford.

Shame Takes Over

Once the flood regressed and I regained my senses I was flooded with shame. “What is wrong with me?” I asked myself as I consoled my children or withdrew from my husband. “Only a monster would do this to her children.” “Why do I become this monster?” “Why can’t I stop it in time?” Life continued like that for years. I didn’t know how to escape the cycle of shame and anger. I continued to pray that God would rescue me from the flood of anger inside of me. “God!” I would cry out, “just make it stop.” “I don’t want to live like this anymore.”

I started looking for answers to my questions, and along the way I discovered The Angry Christian, written by author and respected scholar Andrew Lester. In his groundbreaking book, Lester explains that a human being’s selfhood and identity–the way that we create a sense of self in the world–is through story (Lester 95*). As we begin to interpret our lives, we process and attach meaning to our experiences with our world and others in it through the lens of our story. The experiences that we attach a lot of meaning to become our core narratives. According to Lester, we become vulnerable to the emotion known as anger when there is a threat to our core narrative (Lester, 96).

My core narrative for so long was being the good girl–the one who is good at all costs. In order to show up in my life as the good girl, I thought I had to stuff down my anger. I didn’t know that I could use my voice and speak up in the moments that I felt angry.

You Give Away Your Power When You Give Up Your Voice

I now realize that I gave away my power when I gave up my voice. I took full responsibility for maintaining my relationships with family, friends, co-workers, my boss, my children’s friends’ parents, my neighbors, etc. I believed that my self-worth was based on the myth of goodness at all costs–of being so overly concerned about the approval of others that I continued to suppress my own voice by not speaking up for my own needs.

I now understand that repressing the anger and remaining silent did not make my anger disappear. By holding onto anger and letting it fester into bitterness and resentment I had created a flood within me.

Darkness Does Not Have the Last Word

Thankfully, that is not the end of my story. The darkness doesn’t get to have the final word. I have stopped giving myself permission to hurt people, including myself. When I give myself permission to be angry in the moment, I am able to express my anger in ways that are safe for me and for the person with whom I am angry. When I give myself permission to be angry in the moment, I can be kind to myself and to the person with whom I am angry. When I give myself permission to be angry in the moment, I can be powerful.

I pray that you also find liberation in your pursuit to give yourself permission to be angry in the moment.

*Lester, Andrew D. The Angry Christian. First ed., Louisville, KY, Westminster John Knox Press, 2003.

For Reflection (either individually or with a group)

Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Then spend some time with the following questions with anything that helps you reflect more deeply. Take these questions for a walk in the woods or in your neighborhood, for a swim or a run or for a hot soak in the tub. Invite the questions to join you for tea or coffee. 

• What does anger feel like to you? What happens in and to your body as you start to feel angry?
• How do you deal with anger? Do you actually have specific actions you take when you begin to feel anger?
• Do you know what your core narrative is? Do you think God might want you to make any changes to you’re the core story you believe about yourself?

Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group.

The post You Have Permission…To be Angry in the Moment appeared first on United Church Homes.

For instance, last week during Bible Study we were considering the story of Joseph from the Hebrew Scriptures. So far in the Bible Study, Joseph had been sold into slavery, ascended to the top spot in Potiphar’s house only to be lied about and thrown into jail, had interpreted dreams then been forgotten about, finally released from jail and handed the country of Egypt to save from an impending famine.

When our group got to the place where Joseph was reunited with his brothers, I asked them to share what they thought Joseph would have felt. No one was in a hurry to answer first. I went ahead and told them that I thought Joseph would be angry.

One person responded “I would give anything to see my family again, but they are all dead now. I’ve got no one left.”

Out of curiosity I asked “Even though his brothers sold him into slavery, do you think Joseph would have been happy to see them?”

She thought about it for a minute. “He was the only one of his family in Egypt. When his brothers came, he wasn’t alone anymore.”

I asked her “What do you think that felt like?”

Without missing a beat, she replied “I think it felt like being known.”

In that moment of unexpected clarity, I could sense how important it is to feel known. For this precious one who came to Bible study that day, how long had it been since she had felt known in a room full of people? How long had it been since I had felt known?

I asked the entire group “What is it like to feel known? How does feeling known by someone feel inside of your body?”

I got more answers to that question than any other that I had previously asked in Bible Study.

“It feels good.”

“It feels warm.”

“Safe.”

We moved our way back to the story so that we could finish on time for lunch.

This isn’t a story about attempting to define what it feels like to be known. This is a story of Spirit moving in ways that bring unexpected clarity. I had wanted to share my own insights into family systems theory using Joseph’s story. What happened instead was an even more meaningful conversation than I had planned.

In that moment I realized that Sprit moves in unexpected ways. What I learned is by allowing Spirit to move me, guide me, inspire me, to change my pre-planned course, I was gifted with unexpected clarity.

I hope that when we learn to respond with curiosity to Spirit’s unexpected prompting, we can, together, anticipate her gift of unexpected clarity.

For Reflection (either individually or with a group)

 Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Then spend some time with the following questions with words, crayons, clay, paints, or anything that helps you reflect more deeply.

• When have you experienced Spirit’s unexpected prompting and how did you respond?
• If you have never had that experience, what do you think prevents you from being open to the Spirit’s movement?
• How could a family member, good friend, or fellow small group member help you to be more open?

Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group.

The post The Gift of Unexpected Clarity appeared first on United Church Homes.

Everything changed during the scripture reading. The scripture was Matthew 27:11-54, and as soon as the reader finished saying “The earth shook, rocks split apart, and tombs opened. The bodies of many godly men and women who had died were raised from the dead,” my four-year-old son shouted “What?! Zombies?! There are zombies in the Bible?!”

The Kingdom of Heaven Belongs to Children Such as These

For one not-so-brief moment, I felt so embarrassed. Not only had my son interrupted the scripture reader, but he had also called out the zombies in the Bible that church people usually try to ignore.

I don’t know what I expected to happen in that moment. Would the congregation think that I was a bad mom–because of course a four-year-old should have no idea what a zombie is. Would they think that I’m a bad pastor because my four-year-old PK (preacher’s kid) loves zombies?

Everyone who had gathered together to observe this intimate solemn service……………began laughing.

The moment of intense self-doubt began to fade. I was reminded by a still small voice–one that sounded like my grandmother–that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to children such as these……. children whose Holy Week highlight was reading about zombies in the Bible.

The Challenge of Self Doubt

I have been battling intense self-doubt for most of my life. Maybe people experience self-doubt differently. Mine feels like a small internal voice that tells me I’m destined to fail. It lives in the not-so-brief moments when my circumstances don’t match my expectations.

“Of course, you weren’t meant to be a pastor,” that voice would say. “You aren’t good enough. You are such a mess.”

My son, however, seems to have no self-doubt. He lives his life to the fullest in every moment. He never says no to something that will bring him joy. He will climb anything just to jump off it. He will chase our dog across the back yard, then grab the dog’s toy and tempt the dog to chase him. He watches age-appropriate shows about monsters and howls at the moon like a werewolf. He protects his momma from zombies with his dart gun on walks to the playground.

The Kingdom of Heaven and the Pursuit of Joy

As I watch my son play sword fights with other children at the playground on a beautiful April afternoon, I wonder about the correlation between the Kingdom of Heaven and absence of self-doubt. I wonder about the correlation between the absence of self-doubt and the pursuit of joy.

When I contemplate Abundant Aging, I wonder about the worldly expectation of what a grown-up is supposed to act like. The standard worldly grown-up is expected to be proud, confident, a hard worker, and a know-it-all. Sometimes it feels like I am stuck in a contest to find out who is the best worldly grown-up. In order to win, I constantly compare myself to the worldly expectation of what it means to be grown-up. No wonder I am so full of self-doubt.

Jesus continues to challenge our worldly expectation of the standard grown-up with the simple logic of becoming more like children. While the world may say grown-ups should constantly compare ourselves to a worldly standard of the perfect grown-up, Jesus reminds us that the pursuit of joy isn’t just for our littles. We don’t need anything more than an imagination and a big rock to climb to experience the Kingdom of Heaven.

Today, that feels like very Good News.

For Reflection (either individually or with a group)

Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Then spend some time with the questions with words, crayons, clay, fingerpaints, or anything that reminds you that you ARE a beloved child of God and that helps you to reflect more deeply. Invite the questions to join you for a snack and a glass of milk. 

• What do you think Jesus would have said to the little boy shouting “There are zombies in the Bible?!”
• What do you think our cultures’ expectations are about what grown-ups are supposed to be?
• Do you think there is any connection between an absence of self-doubt and the pursuit of joy? Why or why not?
• How can your imagination help you to experience God’s Kingdom here on earth?

Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group.

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