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Reflecting on the ratification of the U.S. Constitution, Benjamin Franklin famously wrote: “Our new Constitution is now established and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”

While Franklin’s insight was wise, the reality of those two certainties hit differently. Our Constitution, though amended and reinterpreted over time, remains a foundational pillar of American life. And while taxes arrive like clockwork, the certainty of death is far more unpredictable.

Why Do We Avoid Talking About Death

We were created to age, and because we were created to age, we must also come to terms with the inevitability of life’s final chapter. Yet, too often, we shy away from talking about it. Later Life and End of Life Planning might feel like an uncomfortable subject, but it is one of the greatest gifts we can leave to those who remain after us.

When we plan early, we offer those we love clarity and peace of mind in a time that will otherwise be filled with grief and uncertainty. From documenting our wishes for a funeral, ensuring financial affairs are in order, to leaving behind messages of love and guidance, these small but significant steps create a smoother transition for those who will carry on.

I was fortunate enough to experience firsthand how powerful this gift can be. My parents, with love and foresight, took the time to plan for their passing. At the time, I resisted the conversation. I didn’t want to think about a world without them in it. The thought of discussing funeral arrangements and final wishes felt too painful, too distant. But my dad, with gentle wisdom, reassured me with words I’ll never forget: “You’ll thank me for this one day.” And he was right.

When my mom passed, the plans they had made together became a source of comfort rather than a burden. In the midst of grief, we didn’t have to wrestle with uncertainty or difficult decisions, we already knew her wishes, and we could carry them out with confidence and love. Instead of being consumed by logistics, we had the space to focus on celebrating her life, cherishing her memory, and leaning on each other for support.

My dad, still with us, remains a living testament to the importance of Later Life and End of Life Planning, ensuring that when his time comes, the decisions and plans have already been made, and his loved ones will be cared for in the same way.

It’s the Little Things

One of the most thoughtful things my mom did was something seemingly small but incredibly important—she wrote down all her account usernames and passwords to every digital source she used in a notebook mostly because she couldn’t always remember what they were. At first, I never considered how vital that would be, but when the time came, it made a world of difference. We didn’t have to struggle to gain access to necessary accounts, manage financial matters, or close out services. We had everything at our fingertips because she had thought ahead. Her simple act of writing these things down saved us from frustration and uncertainty during an already emotional time.

Preparation is Spiritual

But beyond the practical side of planning, there is also undeniable spiritual peace that comes with knowing everything is in place. Just as we nurture our souls through faith, reflection, and connection, preparing for our departure can be an extension of that journey. It allows us to leave this world with a sense of completeness, unburdened by loose ends, and with the assurance that our loved ones will be cared for not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well.

The reality is that one day, each of us will reach the inevitable end to our earthly journey. We cannot predict the date, but we can prepare for what comes after. And in doing so, we relieve others of the burden of uncertainty, allowing them the space to mourn and heal rather than scramble through details and decisions.

Later Life and End of Life Planning isn’t just about our passing, it is an act of love, ensuring that those we love are supported when they need it most.

Begin your ‘Act of Love’ by visiting https://www.unitedchurchhomes.org/blog/later-life-planning/
and utilizing the free printable or downloadable Later Life Planning Form today for peace of mind tomorrow.

So go ahead and start planning. What are you waiting for? I’ll tell you what I have now told my children and grandchildren. “You’ll thank me for this one day.”

For Reflection (either individually or with a group)

Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Invite the Divine to open your heart to allow the light of new understanding to pierce the shadows of embedded assumptions, stereotypes, and ways of thinking so that you may live more abundantly. Then spend some time with the following questions together with anything or anyone who helps you reflect more deeply.

• Have you had “the talk” with your loved ones? Why or why not?
• What are the reasons to do this that outweigh the fear of not wanting to have a potentially difficult conversation with your loved ones?
• What’s one thing you can do today to make your passing easier for those you love?

Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group.

Rev. Darla Metz is from Tiffin, Ohio and works as the Chaplain for Community Engagement for United Church Homes’ Ruth Frost Parker Center for Abundant Aging. Darla is also a local UCC pastor for 13 years at Republic UCC and St. Jacob’s UCC in Republic, Ohio. She has been married to her husband Tim for 27 years and together they have raised four children and are Nana and Papa to 11 grandchildren.

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This pdf document will help you prepare for ‘The Talk” with family or friends and help you organize the many details–both big and small–they need to know.

From the funeral home you would like to use, your financial and banking information, down to reminding those left behind to empty the garbage cans and remove the perishables from the refrigerator.

This resource is designed to help you plan and give your loved ones peace of mind because the things they need to know are easily accessible when they need it.

There are two different versions of Preparing for ‘The Talk’:

1. The first six-page Later Life Planning document has fillable fields for all the questions so you can type in your answers, print, save the document as a pdf, and share with the people who need the information.
2. The second six-page Later Life Planning pdf is easy to print and write in the answers. You will then either need to scan the written document and save as a pdf to share with those who will benefit from having it. You could also just make paper copies and share.

Document 1 – CAA Later Life Planning Form-Fillable

Document 2 –CAA Later Life Planning Form-Print

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Over the years, as we have led worship services and supported congregations in their ministry with older adults, we have gathered and curated some resources that you may find helpful. All written by Rev. Beth Long-Higgins in her position with United Church Homes and The Center for Abundant Aging, they reflect how we think about aging. Some are reflective of our vision, mission and values which are grounded in John10:10b: ‘I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly.’

You are free to use them in planning for your worship services. Please acknowledge Rev. Beth Long-Higgins as the author and the source as United Church Homes.

Worship Liturgical Resources
Aging Related Liturgical Resources

Let us know if these have been helpful and how you have used them. Thank you and enjoy!

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Age-Friendly Congregations encourages churches to rethink the way they attract, retain and minister to their older members.

This Parker Center Aging Congregations book was co-authored by Rev. Beth Long-Higgins, Rev. J. Bennett “Ben” Guess, Jan Aerie and RoMa Johnson.

“Age-Friendly Congregations takes a look at people who are age 65 and older because we haven’t been paying attention to the people who have made it to this point in their lives,” Long-Higgins says.

The book serves as a resource to help churches better minister to and provide programming for older adults. Chapters share vital information about aging, ageism, caregiving and creating an age-friendly covenant.

“People are aging in place and living longer. How do we reach out and make sure they are not isolated? How do we make sure we are part of their support system?” Long-Higgins asks. Guess believes age-friendly congregations recognize that spiritual growth, intellectual curiosity, and a passion to build a better world are lifelong processes.

“Vital congregations take seriously life-span development and strive to be places where multigenerational experiences are nurtured and where persons of all ages are honored and valued. Age-friendly congregations are serious about confronting ageism,” Guess says.

Aerie notes that congregations wishing to become age-friendly should assess member demographics and develop new models of ministry designed to address the needs of older adult members and area residents and act on an age-friendly covenant process.

“An age-friendly congregation is one that recognizes, celebrates and affirms the place that older adults have in ministry and mission. Specifically, age-friendly congregations intentionally and regularly present intergenerational classes and programs building awareness and knowledge of facets of aging and sensitivity to reaching out to meet the needs of many people,” Aerie says.

Older adults make up more than half of most congregations. They are the backbone of churches but often are taken for granted by ministers who assume they always will have them as members, Guess says.

As Guess puts it, “Many churches incorrectly assume that attracting and retaining older members is a given, so little conversation is invested in how to minister well to seniors. Today’s retirees are looking for meaningful engagement and that requires intentionality on the part of our pastors and local churches.”

Long-Higgins reminds us that older adults should not be lumped into a single, monolithic group. Stereotypes in pop culture about the “church lady,” (a senior who is against change), or assuming that older adults all have the same needs, must be dismissed.

“We are limiting the wisdom that is present in our pews; the gifts that older adults offer. We should be inviting older adults into new roles. If we change the language and invite older adults to experience new opportunities, we will be surprised at how the spirit can work through them,” Long-Higgins says.

Age-Friendly Congregations is available from UCC Resources. The cost is $6 for a digital download and $13 for a printed copy. Click here for more information.

About the Authors

Rev. Beth Long-Higgins is the vice president of engagement and the executive director of United Church Homes’ Ruth Frost Parker Center for Abundant Aging.

Rev. J. Bennett “Ben” Guess is executive director of ACLU Ohio and former vice president of the United Church of Christ’s Council for Health and Human Service Ministries (CHHSM).

Jan Aerie is a gerontologist, community health planner and family counselor.

RoMa Johnson is a hospice community chaplain.

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What should everyone know about aging? Join us for this transformative podcast, find out for yourself and share it with the people you care about.

The Art of Aging Podcast was started by a fellow with The Dayton Foundation Encore Fellows Initiative, which gives the gift of fellowship to older adults.

Today, the podcast is part of the Abundant Aging podcast series. Here, Rev. Beth Long-Higgins interviews guests on a variety of interesting and useful subjects.

Visit abundantagingpodcast.com to listen to current episodes of the podcast — or watch episodes on YouTube.

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