Greetings From the Front Line

Once I officially retired, I became more acutely aware of the many “experts” opining about this phase of life. What should I do? What shouldn’t I do? How do I organize my life with so much time now? Some likened retirement to the classic five phases of grief. Others spoke about the first year being a kind of “honeymoon” with the worst yet to follow. Still others create the negative scenario that they have all the answers for—if only I pay to subscribe!

Needless to say, these first few months have been a transition for sure. From a burgeoning calendar of commitments to a calendar largely focused on my own and my family’s needs/wants has changed the way I organize my life. This will be no surprise to any of you who have navigated retirement, especially the early years of it. You may even be saying to yourself, “Just wait!” So here are a few lessons I have learned in these first months of my retirement journey.

Lessons Learned

There’s a lot to do! When I stopped working, I was surprised by the sheer number of tasks that need to get done. Applying for Social Security and Medicare have been foremost and time consuming. It’s not as easy as letting your HR team handle all this over the years. Now it’s on me! Many exchanges of documents, filling out forms online, and then the endless waiting for the next step. I started this process more than 90 days before my employee benefits stopped. After two months, I’m still not through all the hoops.

I decided to stay involved in some nonprofit boards of special interest to me. Could continuing my service on one or two boards take so much of my free time? But then a new group approached me. And a fourth one recently sent an inquiry of my interest. The pitch is usually about all the time I have, and their board only meets quarterly. Then of course each of these groups naturally needs more than that with committees, projects, and governance. I find myself involved in three governance related projects already. I didn’t know I had that much to share about boards!

Now focused on fitness and community, I’ve joined a gym and the Rotary Club in my hometown. This has provided an opportunity for more routine exercise, community service, and meeting new people. One of my new friends in the club has even been teaching me pickleball! (Note to self – pickleball is the number one cause of orthopedic injuries in my demographic.)

There’s a loving partner around! When I stopped working every day, my wife, a retired pastor, and I discovered that we had a new reality to navigate, too. She joked that suddenly I was around a lot, occupying space in what had been her “domain.” I have to give her credit that she did make room for a bit more of my stuff as we adjusted our home to two full time occupants again. And we have discovered that we still like each other! So, we now have found some activities to do together like going to church (and sitting together for once), a date night at the theater, and spontaneous dining out on the town. We still do our own activities and pursue our individual interests, of course. But all this adds to the family calendar, too.

Relationships with family adjust as well. Now Dad is more available for projects. He is more easily found and tends to answer the phone more quickly, too. I have discovered that this new reality has opened new possibilities to reconnect with the wider family network knowing they still need me for some things. And I have learned to control my need to “dad-splain.” There is more time to join in their lives again now, adult to adult. And that is a lot of fun.

Learning who I am! To live is to navigate constant change. Retirement is a big one, to be sure. I can already say that there are stressors to this passage as much as any in life. One of the biggest is understanding my core identity remains intact—my gifts and graces, my incompleteness and vulnerabilities, my personality and my self-worth. My identity starts with being, not doing. So, I am no longer doing what I did during my lifetime of work. But I am still able to define and pursue interests, passions, and new missions. There is purpose and a new kind of freedom to be curious and explore.

Shortly after I retired, my wife and I travelled to Scotland and Ireland. We love to travel and this time going and coming wasn’t bracketed by managing work demands. The usual anxiety of compressing vacation between work is gone. This actually made traveling a qualitatively better experience, too. We have planned more travel in the coming year, too.

Finding My Own Path

Notwithstanding those “experts” who counsel against the pitfalls of retirement, I am finding my own path. I now can turn my attention not only to learning about the world, but also about myself beyond my resumé and accomplishments. When my wife retired a couple of years ago, someone gave her a little plaque that read, “No is your new favorite word.” Now I am learning when to say no and when to say yes as I begin retirement. It’s actually a new kind of freedom I hadn’t expected. Maybe that is the true gift of retirement. I have entered my seventh decade of life free to be me. Stay tuned. I’m learning.

For Reflection (either individually or with a group)

Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Invite the Divine to open your heart to allow the light of new understanding to pierce the shadows of embedded assumptions, stereotypes, and ways of thinking so that you may live more abundantly. Then spend some time with the following questions together with anything or anyone who helps you reflect more deeply.

• If you have finished your primary career, what is the best part about the changes in your life?
• What has been the most important lesson you have learned? Why?
• If you are still working, how do you envision your “retired” life?

Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group.

Rev. Dr. Kenneth V. Daniel is a distinguished leader in senior living, healthcare and housing services with more than three decades of experience including service as Chief Executive Officer of United Church Homes. During his 14 years at the helm of UCH, he spearheaded transformative growth, nearly doubling the organization’s size and revenue. His visionary leadership advanced UCH’s mission through the expansion of its senior living portfolio and the introduction of innovative programs like NaviGuide. Under his guidance, UCH became a national leader in senior living. Rev. Daniel’s past includes serving as Executive Director of Ingleside at Rock Creek in Washington, D.C., and 19 years with Phoebe Ministries in Allentown, Pennsylvania. A Licensed Nursing Home Administrator, he is also a Fellow and Certified Nursing Home Administrator with the American College of Health Care Administrators. Rev. Daniel holds a Master of Divinity degree from United Theological Seminary of the Twin Cities, which honored him with its Distinguished Alumni Award in 2016. In 2019, Heidelberg University awarded him an honorary Doctorate of Humane Letters for his outstanding service to the United Church of Christ and United Church Homes. Throughout his career, Rev. Daniel has been a respected thought leader, serving as Chairman of the Board for LeadingAge Ohio and earning accolades such as the Visionary Leader of the Year award in 2022.

Courtesy of The Center for Abundant Aging, promoting the riches of Abundant Aging; advocating for an inclusive society that conquers ageism; and delivering education and resources to transform how we think about elderhood.

Blog: Copyright 2025, Rev. Dr. Kenneth Daniel, All Rights Reserved. Photo designed by Freepik.