by Anthony Spearhart, July 24, 2025
June 1st, 2023: “CONGRATULATIONS! It’s a Boy!”
And with that, we had two months to prepare our home for the arrival of Elia, a 17-year-old exchange student from Switzerland. What was meant to be a simple hosting arrangement morphed into a delightful adventure filled with culinary escapades, cultural exchanges, and a touch of chaos.
Armed with a fondue pot and a whirlwind of excitement, we embarked on our comedic journey into “parenting,” eager to blend our American lifestyles with his vibrant Swiss traditions. Little did we know that this whimsical year would serve up invaluable lessons, unforgettable memories, and a hearty dose of laughter, all wrapped up in the bond we formed as an unconventional family!
Greetings, dear readers of The Center for Abundant Aging! As one of your newest blog writers, I’m excited to share our whimsical tale of “parenting” experiences. My husband Tyler and I, a childless gay couple, opened our home to Elia from Switzerland, through the Youth for Understanding Exchange program. Little did we know this adventure would serve up some of the most delicious and humorous parenting lessons imaginable!
Arrival and the Walmart Chronicles
The saga began when Elia’s luggage decided not to tour the world with him. After a long day filled with excitement, baffling airplane food, and no clean socks, he arrived at our home with nothing but the clothes on his back. Our first evening together turned into an unexpected trip to Walmart.
Picture this: Elia’s wide-eyed gaze of exhaustion as Tyler, brimming with enthusiasm, asked if he needed a loofah. After what felt like minutes of stunned silence, Elia gave him the most confused look a 17-year-old can muster. Apparently, “loofah” doesn’t translate as a necessity in Swiss culture; once Tyler explained what a “Loofah” was. Lesson One: a zealous host should prioritize essentials like socks over shower accessories when meeting a new, exhausted, housemate.
Family Dinners and Culinary Connections
Once Elia’s luggage finally arrived, he transformed our casual dinners into festive family gatherings. Dinner time became sacred “family time” as Elia insisted we all share meals at the dining room table almost every night. As a chef, I couldn’t be more ecstatic!
Elia introduced us to delightful Swiss flavors, while I responded by offering my culinary creations—a wonderful melting pot of cultures! Along the way, we bonded over ingredients and recipes, realizing we could build connections through food. Lesson Two: sometimes, the best way to connect is to gather around a meal and share stories (and, of course, suggestions on how to make it better).
The International Grocery Adventure
Our culinary journey would not be complete without a trip to Jungle Jim’s, an international grocery store in Ohio! As we strolled through the aisles, Elia became our tour guide of sorts, excitedly pointing out items he recognized from home.
“Is that Swiss cheese?” Tyler asked, holding a block labeled “Gourmet Swiss.” Elia shot him a look of mock horror. “Not Swiss! It’s just a block of cheese pretending to be Swiss!” he exclaimed, sparking laughter. He then eagerly began showing us what was truly Swiss and what was simply masquerading with fake accents—like “Swiss Miss” hot cocoa, which he firmly declared should be renamed “American Chocolate Drink with a Swiss Name.”
Through Elia’s amused commentary, we learned that every culture has its nuances, and food is one of the most enlightening ways to understand them. Lesson Three: exploring new culinary landscapes together uncovers not only flavors but also fosters deeper connections and laughter.
The Great Pretzel Debate
One memorable day, while we were poolside, our 4-year-old niece EllenLucille was munching on crunchy pretzel sticks from a bag, delighting in her snack. Elia, with the passion of a true Swiss, entered into a spirited debate over the authenticity of her snack.
With a flourish, he exclaimed, “That is not a real pretzel! It should be called a chip!”
EllenLucille, undeterred and fueled by the sass of a 4-year-old girl, engaged in a back-and-forth argument with him. After a few moments of animated “discussion,” she paused, gave him a long, incredulous stare, and finished the conversation with a stoic declaration: “It’s a pretzel.” With that, she skipped away, leaving Elia to ponder the might of a determined child’s logic. Lesson Four: never underestimate the wisdom—and unwavering confidence—of children in a debate.
Enchanted Christmas Gatherings
As the holidays drew near, Elia became enamored with how extensive my extended family was—and how often we gathered. Our family Christmas traditions were a spectacle, from elaborate decorations to spirited assignments—everyone played a role! Recognizing how much we cherished the movie “Christmas Vacation”, Elia prepared a surprise performance of a classic scene from the movie for our family gathering.
When the time came for him to “Add a prayer”, he delivered it with all the flair and humor we could have asked for. The room erupted with laughter as he invoked Aunt Bethany’s spirited confusions, especially when he stumbled through the “pledge” in a hilariously muddled way, while wanting us to be impressed that he in just a few short weeks had memorized. In that moment, we were reminded of how shared stories—as comical as they may be—serve to strengthen our family bonds. Lesson Five: embracing shared traditions—no matter how imperfectly executed—can bring families closer together, creating connections that transcend cultures.
A Heartfelt Goodbye
These are just the tip of the iceberg of the lessons we learned in our time with Elia. As our year with Elia drew to a close, we held tightly to the memories we had created amidst laughter, culinary adventures, and heartfelt moments. When it was time for him to leave, the airline graciously allowed us to accompany him to the gate.
As we stood there, a bittersweet feeling enveloped us. Just before it was time to board his plane, Elia hugged us both, his face bright with emotion, and declared, “You will be my dads forever.”
As he boarded the plane, he turned around one last time, to wave, and say “Thank You!”. In that moment, my heart melted. Our year together had transformed an exchange program into a true family experience. Lesson Six: love knows no boundaries, and connections made through shared experiences can shape forever.
Ultimately, as we bid farewell to Elia, we knew we had forged a lifelong relationship. Our hearts, much like our family table, will always have a seat ready for our beloved Swiss son—wherever he may roam.
So here’s to playful adventures, cultural exchanges, and the heartwarming lessons of international friendship. May we always seek to expand our horizons, one meal (and giggle) at a time!
For Reflection (either individually or with a group)
Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Invite the Divine to open your heart to allow the light of new understanding to pierce the shadows of embedded assumptions, stereotypes, and ways of thinking so that you may live more abundantly. Then spend some time with the following questions together with anything or anyone who helps you reflect more deeply.
- Have you had the experience of spending a good deal of time with someone from a culture very different than your own? If so, what did you learn from them?
- Did they have any traditions that you integrated into your life?
- What can you do in the next few months to reach out to build a connection with someone whose life has been quite different from yours?
- What is important for you to share with them about your life story?
- How will you best open your heart and mind to them to ask questions to become better acquainted with their life?
Anthony Spearhart is a Member-in-Discernment and a UCC licensed pastor currently serving at St. Paul UCC in Wapakoneta, Ohio. He has been an advocate for the Alzheimer’s Association since 2013. Before moving into his second career as a pastor, he was a chef, who worked at Walt Disney World. He and his husband Tyler enjoy the beach and their two Great Danes
About the Author: Anthony Spearhart
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