Focus: You’ll Thank Me for This One Day

Let’s talk about our death! Fun stuff, right?

Reflecting on the ratification of the U.S. Constitution, Benjamin Franklin famously wrote: “Our new Constitution is now established and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”

While Franklin’s insight was wise, the reality of those two certainties hit differently. Our Constitution, though amended and reinterpreted over time, remains a foundational pillar of American life. And while taxes arrive like clockwork, the certainty of death is far more unpredictable.

Why Do We Avoid Talking About Death

We were created to age, and because we were created to age, we must also come to terms with the inevitability of life’s final chapter. Yet, too often, we shy away from talking about it. Later Life and End of Life Planning might feel like an uncomfortable subject, but it is one of the greatest gifts we can leave to those who remain after us.

When we plan early, we offer those we love clarity and peace of mind in a time that will otherwise be filled with grief and uncertainty. From documenting our wishes for a funeral, ensuring financial affairs are in order, to leaving behind messages of love and guidance, these small but significant steps create a smoother transition for those who will carry on.

I was fortunate enough to experience firsthand how powerful this gift can be. My parents, with love and foresight, took the time to plan for their passing. At the time, I resisted the conversation. I didn’t want to think about a world without them in it. The thought of discussing funeral arrangements and final wishes felt too painful, too distant. But my dad, with gentle wisdom, reassured me with words I’ll never forget: “You’ll thank me for this one day.” And he was right.

When my mom passed, the plans they had made together became a source of comfort rather than a burden. In the midst of grief, we didn’t have to wrestle with uncertainty or difficult decisions, we already knew her wishes, and we could carry them out with confidence and love. Instead of being consumed by logistics, we had the space to focus on celebrating her life, cherishing her memory, and leaning on each other for support.

My dad, still with us, remains a living testament to the importance of Later Life and End of Life Planning, ensuring that when his time comes, the decisions and plans have already been made, and his loved ones will be cared for in the same way.

It’s the Little Things

One of the most thoughtful things my mom did was something seemingly small but incredibly important—she wrote down all her account usernames and passwords to every digital source she used in a notebook mostly because she couldn’t always remember what they were. At first, I never considered how vital that would be, but when the time came, it made a world of difference. We didn’t have to struggle to gain access to necessary accounts, manage financial matters, or close out services. We had everything at our fingertips because she had thought ahead. Her simple act of writing these things down saved us from frustration and uncertainty during an already emotional time.

Preparation is Spiritual

But beyond the practical side of planning, there is also undeniable spiritual peace that comes with knowing everything is in place. Just as we nurture our souls through faith, reflection, and connection, preparing for our departure can be an extension of that journey. It allows us to leave this world with a sense of completeness, unburdened by loose ends, and with the assurance that our loved ones will be cared for not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well.

The reality is that one day, each of us will reach the inevitable end to our earthly journey. We cannot predict the date, but we can prepare for what comes after. And in doing so, we relieve others of the burden of uncertainty, allowing them the space to mourn and heal rather than scramble through details and decisions.

Later Life and End of Life Planning isn’t just about our passing, it is an act of love, ensuring that those we love are supported when they need it most.

Begin your ‘Act of Love’ by visiting https://www.unitedchurchhomes.org/blog/later-life-planning/
and utilizing the free printable or downloadable Later Life Planning Form today for peace of mind tomorrow.

So go ahead and start planning. What are you waiting for? I’ll tell you what I have now told my children and grandchildren. “You’ll thank me for this one day.”

 

For Reflection (either individually or with a group)

Read the blog. Read it a second time, maybe reading it aloud or asking someone else to read it aloud so you can hear it with different intonation and emphases. Invite the Divine to open your heart to allow the light of new understanding to pierce the shadows of embedded assumptions, stereotypes, and ways of thinking so that you may live more abundantly. Then spend some time with the following questions together with anything or anyone who helps you reflect more deeply.

• Have you had “the talk” with your loved ones? Why or why not?
• What are the reasons to do this that outweigh the fear of not wanting to have a potentially difficult conversation with your loved ones?
• What’s one thing you can do today to make your passing easier for those you love?

 

Download a pdf including the Reflection Questions to share and discuss with friends, family, or members of your faith community small group.

 

 

Rev. Darla Metz is from Tiffin, Ohio and works as the Chaplain for Community Engagement for United Church Homes’ Ruth Frost Parker Center for Abundant Aging. Darla is also a local UCC pastor for 13 years at Republic UCC and St. Jacob’s UCC in Republic, Ohio. She has been married to her husband Tim for 27 years and together they have raised four children and are Nana and Papa to 11 grandchildren.